why I was on a sea of \u200b\u200bdoubt?. Would make sense to wait for a fresh start?. That was, and I did. But what about all the previous period?, What about all the anger?, What about all the concerns?. That seemed lost time, which was the subject of complaints both from my mother. I resented what they called lost time for me. To be writing or just thinking. I was angry that, by itself, did not see the good side of it. Decírsela could, but he hated to say anything when I was so angry, because it was as if it ache more. was not content to be in this way, but what else could I do?. I missed dialogue, now I was becoming more necessary than ever. What had happened to me?, Discussing why so much?, Was a child?, Why I was asking questions as a child of an older person?.
I often wonder if many questions will need me, anyone else can live the carefree life why not me?. However, everytime I feel that I find it impossible to get rid of them all. The first few days, he believed completely in the trust, and too innocent. When talking with others and tell them whether it was right, did not seek the intention of saying things about my mother. I did not know where people are talking about the other amused. I just did it because they were my friends, all my friends were, the world was a world of brothers and trusted them. I just wanted to help me fight for life. She was beautiful, had discovered in the first poem. Many times, I wonder if some day you can change all that. Today, for example, came Wednesday and Isabel and Palmyra. I never sought anything wrong in talking to Elizabeth. I do not know at first what it was, but what strikes me it is that has some details that I love. A few days ago, when the road was in front of the pit full of grass, I saw my father trying to cut. He did not do well, let out a piece of ground. Last year it was I who cut with the hoe, single storey, but seeking the roots of the grass to not grow back. I was very good, and this year I thought to myself, if I was that scared me see a grass so tall. I was angry to see my father, [S1] first thought was that I did for echármelo then face, I had heard it many times words like "stupid", "useless," "slimy" and some others. But those mostly because I did not know what to think. I stayed silent, and that was the worst, I was afraid to answer, yes, but almost always start saying: no, what happens ... not to say that they take away the reason could simply be a hobby of mine.
That was what brought me perhaps more than his head. He still could not beat me to fight for me easily discouraged. My father paid attention, but trying to pass some of it, but did not give equal importance to it. Continued to dump, but I took so the tremendous words.
My mother said how much he "prayed", and her, this meant my prayers whispered everything after any event that happens, almost always while she was in the middle. He said it was my hate and my anger ever could be, but the truth is that from the beginning I used it as a means to beat. To understand what went wrong and try to overcome it again. But of course, easier said than done much stretch, because I do not know how I lasted to this thought later, I guess a little influenced by the environment, he said: "See, you're stupid", "because you are stupid" and things like that. That was wrong, but I did unconsciously and I did not realize. Also tried to do it for her. Until there was a person who did recognize me: Antonio, a man Sabarís but child's heart. I said it was like to have mercy on myself, and that does not get more than offset the will. Until I believe it one day and found no solution other than to say that life was meaningless. And it was he who helped me forget Irlo little bit of me. And it was that helped me see more clearly the person Quico. Further reinforced the idea I had. Ana, in a letter, told me that was separating me from my family for the poems and fantasies, but there was a person who had noticed and did not want this ... and was Quico. Antonio told me that was the only brother so I could help out more. I remember when I started to hear that and wanted to rebuild what was crumbling, there were also quarrels and anger, but there was nothing to be taken seriously. Lasted several months. Many errands that sent me to fetch anything, I started to make happy. Often I said "thank you" were not needed between him and me, perhaps with another if. Ana, when I said that about Quico, also added that I interrupted him, I objected, that's how I was.
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